“I’m alright, Jacques”
A report on the strike of pro-Brexit workers
Montage © Facts4EU.Org 2023
A satirical take on Brexit struggles, from Facts4EU.Org
Brexit Facts4EU.Org Summary
Fred Kite's address to the Brexit workers
“Brothers and Sisters!” shouts Fred Kite, the Shop Steward of the Union of Brexit Facts4EU.Org workers.
[A Union Convenor urgently whispers in his ear.]
“And, quite obviously, all those who self-identificate theirs selves as non-binary and who utilise alternative nouns and pronouns,” he quickly adds.
Credit: Charter Film Productions, distributed by British Lion Films (UK) - click to enlarge
“You ’as voted to down tools this day. The Members of your Union’s Organising Committee fully respect and support your rights. It’s outragious – monstrious I might add - that while the Remain campaigns receive millions of pounds from organisations funded by the agencies of foreign capitalists, you is treated as cheap labour!”
“Comrades,” [he glances at the Senior Convenor and gets a nod for using the safer term], “I’m sorry to 'ave to inform yourselves that Management…” [boos from the crowd] “…'as informed your Union’s Organising Committee that insufficient funds is available to pay even the minimum wage. We find this to be completely unacceptable as well as being contraventionous to the labour agreement we struck with Management in June 2016!
“What you is bein' paid is not commensuratative with the toil you is doin' each night and day.
“Management is wilfully jeropodising the safety of its employees. Your Union is behind you - right, left and centre!”
“As such, and in accordance with Union rule 3.4 sub-section (c) regarding the temporary withdrawal of labour, we find Management to be in complete contemptuousness of your rights!”
“And furthermore, brothers and sisters - er, I mean comrades - we is determined to fight this iniquitiousness action on the part of Management.
“Your Organising Committee ’as been working with the yuman rights lawyers to bring your case to the European Court of Justicity and the European Court of Yuman Rights. However I must tell you, brothers and sisters… and all of you of other dominations… that they ’as been disappointing in their responses.”
[Groans from the crowd.]
“No, do not be downhearted dear friends! We is still taking the affirmeratory actions which is required. Your Organising Committee ’as just gone step higher! We 'as contacted his Lordness Andrew of Adonis and we is sure he will take up your case and get you the money you deserves!”
[Perplexed expressions from the workers……..]
“And now comrades, I must leave you, because I ’as a lunch with Keir Sir Stammerer at the Soho House restaurant establishment in London.” [He punches the air with a clenched fist and leaves the stage.]
For those who have never seen the iconic 1959 film “I’m alright, Jack” starring Peter Sellers, Ian Carmichael and Terry-Thomas, the humour above might be a little mystifying. This clip might help.
Credit: Charter Film Productions, distributed by British Lion Films (UK)
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And finally, our Aussie friends....
Tomorrow is Australia Day. Given that we are in a light-hearted mood, we would like to wish all our Aussie readers a very happy Australia Day which starts in a few hours (because of the time-zone difference) and celebrate with them with one of their cultural classics. :-)
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Brexit Facts4EU.Org, Wed 25 Jan 2023
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