“I’m alright, Jacques”

A report on the strike of pro-Brexit workers

Montage © Facts4EU.Org 2023

A satirical take on Brexit struggles, from Facts4EU.Org

Brexit Facts4EU.Org Summary

Fred Kite's address to the Brexit workers

“Brothers and Sisters!” shouts Fred Kite, the Shop Steward of the Union of Brexit Facts4EU.Org workers.

[A Union Convenor urgently whispers in his ear.]

“And, quite obviously, all those who self-identificate theirs selves as non-binary and who utilise alternative nouns and pronouns,” he quickly adds.

Credit: Charter Film Productions, distributed by British Lion Films (UK) - click to enlarge

“You ’as voted to down tools this day. The Members of your Union’s Organising Committee fully respect and support your rights. It’s outragious – monstrious I might add - that while the Remain campaigns receive millions of pounds from organisations funded by the agencies of foreign capitalists, you is treated as cheap labour!”

[Cheers.]

“Comrades,” [he glances at the Senior Convenor and gets a nod for using the safer term], “I’m sorry to 'ave to inform yourselves that Management…” [boos from the crowd] “…'as informed your Union’s Organising Committee that insufficient funds is available to pay even the minimum wage. We find this to be completely unacceptable as well as being contraventionous to the labour agreement we struck with Management in June 2016!

“What you is bein' paid is not commensuratative with the toil you is doin' each night and day.

“Management is wilfully jeropodising the safety of its employees. Your Union is behind you - right, left and centre!”

[More cheers.]

“As such, and in accordance with Union rule 3.4 sub-section (c) regarding the temporary withdrawal of labour, we find Management to be in complete contemptuousness of your rights!”

[More cheers.]

“And furthermore, brothers and sisters - er, I mean comrades - we is determined to fight this iniquitiousness action on the part of Management.

“Your Organising Committee ’as been working with the yuman rights lawyers to bring your case to the European Court of Justicity and the European Court of Yuman Rights. However I must tell you, brothers and sisters… and all of you of other dominations… that they ’as been disappointing in their responses.”

[Groans from the crowd.]

“No, do not be downhearted dear friends! We is still taking the affirmeratory actions which is required. Your Organising Committee ’as just gone step higher! We 'as contacted his Lordness Andrew of Adonis and we is sure he will take up your case and get you the money you deserves!”

[Perplexed expressions from the workers……..]

“And now comrades, I must leave you, because I ’as a lunch with Keir Sir Stammerer at the Soho House restaurant establishment in London.” [He punches the air with a clenched fist and leaves the stage.]

Observations

For those who have never seen the iconic 1959 film “I’m alright, Jack” starring Peter Sellers, Ian Carmichael and Terry-Thomas, the humour above might be a little mystifying. This clip might help.

Credit: Charter Film Productions, distributed by British Lion Films (UK)

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And finally, our Aussie friends....

Tomorrow is Australia Day. Given that we are in a light-hearted mood, we would like to wish all our Aussie readers a very happy Australia Day which starts in a few hours (because of the time-zone difference) and celebrate with them with one of their cultural classics. :-)

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[ Sources: Facts4EU.Org Humour Dept ] Politicians and journalists can contact us for details, as ever.

Brexit Facts4EU.Org, Wed 25 Jan 2023

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Reader Comments 16

1. Sparky , Wednesday, January 25, 2023, 07:09:

Very funny. Brexit isn’t!

2. LuxuryBalloon , Wednesday, January 25, 2023, 09:15:

Facts4EU is missing the point. Brexit is not struggling. The remoaners and rejoiners are struggling.

3. Captain Thunderbolt , Wednesday, January 25, 2023, 10:00:

LOL
I'm a happy little vegemite.

4. Narcisus The Always Right , Wednesday, January 25, 2023, 10:15:

Ah, the Conservative mantra which fends off unwanted feelings - if, god forbid, you happen to develop any.
Resistant to all forms of rationale, it's a catch-all slogan for "the cult of ME".
Say you're next in line to vote for a nationwide referendum that will rob the youth of a viable future? Recite this mantra 3 times before & after the vote, for that "I'm so cool with the kids, I'm almost frozen cold" sensation. Use generously as things begin to fall apart thereafter.
You don't even have to know the facts, as alternates are supplied. The less you know, the easier it is - for someone.
MPs unanimously vote, on 3 separate occasions, for kids not to be fed in schools? Who cares about optics if you're myopic by choice.
Just say the mantra once before your own all-too-generous meals thrice daily: Pensions will still get paid & MPs still get a subsidised lunch. Winning!
Will no one think of the children, you ask? They were already given mass surveillance. It's for their protection, even if they are starving.
A pre-emptive anti-strike law, disguised as a protest bill is hastily drafted by a handful of chancers? Perfect! Don't write to your MP. Besides, you're not about to protest anytime soon, not with BLM. Who needs free speech or right of assembly when you've got nothing to say, certainly won't share & prefer your own company? The Party says & does it all on your behalf, however bad - so you don't have to.
A vote to deliberately add sewage to our waterways is in discussion - say as many mantras as you watch voters swallow this. Be certain not to tell your constituents to buy bottled water. Those that need telling probably can't afford it anyway - a problem for the Left to figure out.
This impenetrable suit of strawman armour, tempered with lies & conspiracy theories, is all you need to survive the "People Before Parties" populist craze.
PS: "Imagine if we disappeared tomorrow." ... Nothing of value would be lost. Don't threaten us with peace of mind.

5. Sparky , Wednesday, January 25, 2023, 10:32:

Interesting interview on LBC between Andrew Marr and Mark Carney yesterday.
And nice piece in the Independent headlined, It’s over – “the Brexit debate is finished
The party who are in charge of Brexit have effectively admitted that undoing Brexit would help to fix the UK’s economic crisis”

6. Buster , Wednesday, January 25, 2023, 10:42:

Indeed Sparky.
There probably still are some arguments in favour of Brexit - but the economics is now proven. Economically Brexit has been a disaster for Britain and Britons.
So much so that Facts4EU resorts to a satire based on a 64 year old film. A film I’d never heard of because it was released 2 decades before I was born. But I guess many of these ellderly Brexitists would have seen it when they were teenagers.
I wonder if any of these angry septuaigenarians will need the NHS this winter. I hope for their sake they don’t.

7. Gazzablack , Wednesday, January 25, 2023, 12:05:

4, Narcissus
Wow, you've used a lot of words in saying nothing at all.
.
.5&6
Buster loves sparky
Sparky loves Buster
It's a multiple personality disorder love affair.
.
Get a room guy(s), one with padded walls.

8. Peter Salisbury , Wednesday, January 25, 2023, 13:28:

Oh dear oh dear.. Strike cancels all flights at Berlin Brandenburg airport (5 hours ago5 hours ago)
Around 300 flights that were scheduled to take off and land at the Berlin airport on Wednesday were cancelled. It is the first time since 2018 a labor strike led to so many flight cancellations"... "France strikes: One million protest against Macron's rise in retirement age".... How will motorists be affected by Italy's petrol station strike?"... and it goes on and on and on

9. Sparky , Wednesday, January 25, 2023, 14:48:

8 Peter. You may have missed the news in the UK, I thought I heard there was a few strikes going on.

10. Jon, Wales , Wednesday, January 25, 2023, 15:42:

It never ceases to amaze that even with a light-hearted article, those very same trolls still pollute this factual site day after day, yet they do so behind their phone or keyboard in their pathetic little virtual world of anonymity. Unlike Facts4EU.org, they cannot produce any factual and properly researched facts with their nauseating rhetoric, other than to abuse others, be ageist and racist.
They do not realise that if they debated in a grown up manner without their juvenile behaviour and 'attacks', they may then have a point of view to debate.
Of all the questions, they always fail to give a coherent answer as to WHY they believe the UK should be governed by foreign bureaucracy - because they have no answer.
Along with many others, my parents fought for our freedoms decades ago so that my generation, and those whom followed, were born a free people.
Indeed, I'm proud to say my Uncle was one of the 'Desert Rats' back then fighting for our freedoms - though I regret he never made it!
As the majority of FACTS on here come from their beloved EU itself, the trolls still unbelievably try to spin THEIR own version.

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