“Sir John, next Christmas quiz question for you. What do Ed Davey and the LibDems, the Greens, Wes Streeting, David Lammy, and almost all the rest of the Labour Party’s MPs have in common?”

“Well, Leigh, how about the fact they all believe in the absurdity that the UK would be better off in the EU’s Customs Union and Single Market?”

“Interesting. Let’s see, shall we?”

Ed Davey, speaking for all the LibDems

The Greens

Every utterance, statement, and official party policy.

Wes Streeting MP, Health Secretary

David Lammy MP, Justice Secretary

“Yes, Leigh, that about sums them up. The LibDems invent absurd figures of how much better off we would be if only we were in the Customs Union of the EU. They clearly do not understand that we are in a Free Trade Agreement with the EU, meaning we do not have any tariffs on EU imports or exports already, so there is no tariff gain from joining. They do not seem to understand that there would be a substantial tariff loss from joining, as we would have to re-impose tariffs on all those imports from non-EU countries where we cancelled the tariffs on leaving the EU. We took tariffs off all the things we cannot grow or make for ourselves, and off things needed for UK manufacturers as raw materials and components for their added value production.

“The Lib Dems condemn President Trump for putting tariffs on, so why do they want to put more tariffs on our imports from non-EU countries by joining the Customs Union? Why do they support the ruinous carbon border mechanism, a big EU tariff-like charge coming soon to markets near us, and soon to be imposed by an unholy Lib/Lab alliance on UK consumers already suffering from rising prices? The carbon border tax will make many imports dearer.

“They claim they want to negotiate fewer border frictions for our tariff-free trade with the EU. The EU answers that we need to adopt all the extra rules and costs the EU has imposed on itself since we left, and reverse any repeals or simplifications of EU laws we have so far made to all the older EU law we carried with us into a half-hearted Brexit. Far from cutting frictions the EU would ensure there are more.”

“You and your colleagues at Facts4EU.Org always have all the best official figures, Leigh. Why don’t you put some together to show just how absurd they are?”

“Alright, John, here’s a few. These all come from the Office for National Statistics, so they should prove just how foolish the LibDems and the others like Streeting and Lammy sound. It doesn’t come more official and factual than this. These prove beyond any doubt that being in the EU’s Customs Union and Single Market made us worse off, not better off.”

“Let’s take GDP, real GDP, excluding inflation. After all, Ed Davey seems to believe re-joining the Customs Union is the “single biggest step the government could take to grow our economy”.

“Take a look at the chart below and you’ll see that puts him pretty high up on the ‘absurdity scale’.”

“Yes, that chart, which I can see uses all the data available going back to 1948, shows that on average the UK grew 77% faster per year before we joined than after we became a member.”

“That’s right. And it doesn’t matter what dates you take, the UK’s economy always grew faster outside than inside the Customs Union and Single Market. Next you’re going to ask for more recent data, aren’t you?”

“Yes, but I want to add some more. Some say they want us back in the Single Market. That means we would automatically have to adopt all the extra rules and regulations they wish to introduce without a voice or vote over the laws they are making. I remember well as Single Market Minister how excessive those laws can be, and also that even as a voting member the best we could do was delay or dilute a bit. The EU always proceeds by excessive, detailed regulation of everything business tries to do, making it a high cost, low-growth, low-innovation zone. It seeks to make good new ideas illegal to protect incumbents.

“Far from adding to our GDP and to our tax revenues, joining the Customs Union comes with a quadruple cost:

• More money paid to the EU for administering it
• More money paid by consumers in tariffs on non-EU imports
• Jobs lost as business can no longer import materials and components tariff-free from non-EU countries
• Less trade with non-EU counties as we have to cancel our Free Trade Agreements made as an independent country.

“Yes, John. Well it might surprise Ed Davey, Wes Streeting, David Lammy, and their friends to compare the EU’s Top 3 economies after we voted to leave, and then after we actually left.”

“That’s all very well, but you know what the prince of the absurd, Mr Davey, will say. He’ll say that’s since the Referendum. What about after we actually left?”

“Oh alright, if you insist.”

“So what you’re really saying, Leigh, is that if the British people knew the true, official figures, then Davey, Streeting, Lammy and their friends truly would be off the absurdity scale every time they try to make these invented claims about how much better off we’d be, back in the Customs Union and Single Market?”

“Yes John, either they’re as ignorant as they come, or they’re trying to perpetrate one of the country’s biggest ever con-tricks on the British people. It simply isn’t possible to make any way of constructing a rational argument for rejoining the Customs Union or Single Market.”

“And yet the polls seem to show the majority of the public in favour of rejoining.”

“Yes, that’s because this quasi-religious cult of politicians lies to them on such a repetitive basis that after a while the public thinks their deranged views must be true. If we got half the airtime they get, and if we showed these charts over and over again, the public would soon change their minds.””

“Well what can we do about that?”

“That’s easy. Donate to Facts4EU. Give us the money to get the facts out on a daily basis and into the media. The other side’s funded by the Open Society Institutes of a foreign billionaire. We’re relying on John and Mary Smith of Acacia Avenue. If we had thousands of John and Mary’s, we could fight back and put the record straight.”

“Thank you, Leigh and your Facts4EU.Org team. I urge you (the reader) to support this important cause! Merry Christmas!”